What can be said of trust when words are the servant of the rational mind?
In the space of our wordlessness there is nothing to be done and everything to be heard . . .
Trust is letting go of the “need” to make things happen. But then again, sometimes we need to exhaust our actions before trusting can become an option. So finally in our hour of irreversible stress, we are directed to the doorway of surrender, and the release of our attachments forthwith . . .
In the bigger picture, achievement may hand us the fruits of our desire, but it is the road we take to get there that brings our true spiritual nourishment. Our life purpose may appear at first as a material challenge, perhaps the promise of self-mastery or even the healing of humanity. But at the end of the day, it will be the path we took that will reveal our true purpose.
My biggest challenge has been to understand the place of surrender versus commitment. Letting go my goals felt like giving up, and somehow this felt like breaking my commitment. What this revealed was my attachment to being trustworthy and steadfast. What was driving this? Within me was a deeper belief that I was lacking in these qualities and this was driving me to over-compensate.
My over-compensation completely changed the playing field. It wasn’t about my commitment to my goals; it was about my commitment to commitment!! The realisation itself was healing. The moment the light went on, adjustments were beginning within me. To redefine the nature of my commitment became an important aspect of achieving my goals. At the same time I knew I had to pull over – a spiritual Pit Stop would allow me the space to surrender and learn to trust.
Surrendering a powerful belief is a feeling not unlike letting go of life itself. At the very least it revealed to me how the circumstances of my life were very dependent on my beliefs. I would ask myself, how could I possibly unravel the entanglements of my deepest conclusions? And the voice would return; “to stop and let go was all that was needed”. In the Pit Stop rational processes were not important, but meditation was. I meditated on one thing and one thing only –
Peace allowed the natural healing processes to release my attachments without resistance. Peace allowed the reinstatement of a new balance in my forward motion and Peace reminded me that every step I take is a precious moment. The true direction of my commitment was to my inner peace. If my goals were in alignment with this then my steps would always be heading in the right direction – even without me looking.
Was this trust? I think it to be so. But trust like life itself is a work in progress, it is to be left open . . . and so it is . . .
It will always be a question of trust. My challenge as a rational thinker is to find a place where I can be comfortable without proving anything to myself. To be in the space of trust is also a choice to be at peace.
To be at peace opens our eyes to trusting without reservation. In this we have the opportunity to apply the power of our intent through our innate connection with universal energy.
Yes, a question of trust cannot easily be spoken of, but it can be embraced into our hearts and minds . . .
and somehow in our togetherness, we will overcome the massive hurdles that stand before us – without knowing how.
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